I have lived West of the Mississippi most of my life, so I am sometimes baffled by East Coast politics and am especially confused by New York politics and how the rulers of New York justify their heavy-handed tactics. I do not know why the people of New York do not simply laugh at their “leaders” to the point of absolute disobedience.

The issue that has led me to question New York is an April 11, 2019 article from Fox5NY which details Mayor Bill Deblasio’s war against plastic utensils. (As an aside, I am so relieved that New York City has no problems to speak of if this is now all that is left for Deblasio to address.) The mayor claims that plastic utensils are a “pervasive threat” to the City of New York. Honestly, I do not know how these roving gangs of spoons, forks, and heaven forbid, knives have been able to roam the streets of New York for so long.

As an outsider to New York, (and trust me, I thank God for that blessing) I need an education on the mayor’s residence at Gracie Mansion. I have seen pictures and I am trying to figure out where the gymnasium is located. The city of New York must have a Romanian coach on staff to teach the mayor all the amazing mental gymnastics he must perform to justify his rationale for the ban.

If you do not have time to read the article I am citing, please know that this decision to ban all plastic utensils was done by fiat of the mayor. There was no vote of the people nor did the City Council decide this as the people’s representatives. No study was commissioned on cost or feasibility. The mayor appears to have woken up and decided that, as the dictator of New York City, this is the policy that the city would pursue.

It appears that these evil utensils are an actual threat to the New York coastline. The plastic fork that you might be eating your lunch salad with is going to cause a baby seal to fall off a melting iceberg and drown.*

According to the mayor, it is YOUR fork that is creating climate change (I’ll bet India and China are relieved that it is not their unregulated coal power plants anymore). The spoon with which you are eating that bowl of cereal? You guessed it, YOU are the reason that we are experiencing “more frequent and severe weather events”. I am not sure how you face your family at the holidays knowing what you are willfully doing to destroy this planet.

Essentially, dear Liberty Block readers, you know who is behind all of this. We have known for a very long time now. Of course, it is BIG OIL behind this. They have been hiding in the shadows “pushing single-use plastics for too long – and it stops here.” Mayor de Blasio has hit one out of the park this time. Since this appears to be everything that needs to be done in the city and all other problems clearly have been solved, FOREVER, I should expect the city will be closing shop permanently once the last plastic fork is thrown in the recycle bin.

*Author’s note: Don’t worry if you like seals – they love to swim. I’m just kidding about them drowning. There are still going to be plenty of seals for us to hunt.

**The City of New York did not return the author’s call when trying to confirm if sporks were included in the ban.

***The Liberty Block does not condone Daniel Rice’s apparent fondness for his yearly seal hunt. They would, however, appreciate some fresh jerky in the break room.

Categories: Opinion