The Washington Redskins have finally given in to the pressure and ditched their name, which clearly referenced native Americans. Now that four hundred years of colonialism, slavery, rape and other unspeakably evil acts against the peaceful Native Americans has been erased with one fell swoop of Dan Snyder’s pen, it is time for the NFL to do better and rename ALL of their teams. Each and everyone of the remaining thirty one teams in the NFL has a name that evokes America’s history of intolerance and racism towards such peaceful groups as the Japanese Empire, North Korea, the Taliban and everyone else who dares to challenge the bigoted superstate known as the United States. 

Dallas Cowboys

Where to even begin? First of all, its name excludes all the females who helped settle the western United States. But this trouble goes deeper: the very existence of “Cowboys/girls” was to push out the tolerant and peaceful Native Americans who lived in harmony before white people decided to give later totalitarians inspiration for their own genocides. Despite being archrivals of the no-longer-named Washington team, both of their names are steeped in genocide and imperialism 

San Francisco 49ers

Just as with the Cowboys, the actual 49er’s (the name given to those who selfishly walked through Native sacred ground to arrive in California to mine gold) were agents of American racism and imperialism. Furthermore, the very concept of gold mining perpetrates rape culture as mother earth did not consent to men sticking pointy objects inside of her to extract her wealth. 

Green Bay Packers

Once again, the ugly face of the so-called manifest destiny rears its ugly head: the packing in this context refers to the meat packing plants of the midwest that sprung up during America’s march to the sea in the latter half of the 19th century. And what meat was being packed in these plants of racism and genocide? Buffalo meat, the sacred meat of all native Americans. 

Philadelphia eagles 

As we all know, the Nazi Party (originally started as an appreciation club for the  Native American genocide) used an eagle in its insignia. Thus, this name promotes Anti-Semitism, Homophobia, ableism  and all the other evils of the Third Reich. 

New Orleans Saints

One would think an innocent sounding name as “Saints” would be immune from bigotry and intolerance. However, the idea of a saint is rooted in the idea some people are more moral than others, which is rooted in racism and bigotry.

New york Jets

This is grossly insensitive to the nineteen Muslims George Bush killed  in the September 11 attacks! 

Tennessee Titans

The Titans are named after the creatures from Greek mythology. As the Greeks are white, this is another way of honoring the horrendously bigoted concept known as whiteness.

New York Giants

This offends ‘little people’. 

New England Patriots

Patriots are really just named after anti-government conspiracy terrorists who illegally used prohibited weapons against the government and killed law enforcement officers and believed in secession.

Cleveland Browns  

Cleveland Browns are making fun of brown people!

Baltimore ravens 

They are named after the original raven of Baltimore: Edgar Allan Poe, a bigoted sexist. 

Pittsburgh Steelers 

Steelers are about old pre-union labor before women could vote! And working itself is based in racism and exploitation.

Cincinnati Bengals 

The word ‘Bengal’ is the name of a region in India that was unethically exploited by the British. This is cultural appropriation of the highest degree! 

Miami Dolphins

Dolphins are offensive to dolphins and all other marine life. 

Minnesota Vikings

This name honors a group of rapists. Thieves and murderers who plagued europe for centuries! Worst of all, Vikings were white!

Los Angeles Chargers

Their logo is a bolt of lightning.  Bolts were the symbol of the Waffen SS. 

Kansas City Chiefs

The term ‘chief’ is inherently rooted in hierarchy. This offends all the pathetic beta males who could never rise to the rank!

Buffalo Bills

This is another cruel reminder that the white man killed nearly all the Buffalos in an attempt to starve the peaceful Native Americans. 

Denver Broncos

This name is another way the white man humiliates his victims: before Europeans came there were no horses in the Americas as the Native Americans used high powered turbine engines. After stealing this technology and claiming it as his own the White man gave horses to the natives 

Arizona Cardinals 

The Cardinal is the state bird of the most racist state in the Union: Virginia. By naming a far western team after this bird, the white man is attempting to export his racism just as he did during Manifest Destiny

Las Vegas raiders 

Swords, which are depicted on their logo, represent the penis, the most inherently anti female organ in existence.

Detroit Lions

As lions are a symbol of Africa, the white man’s use of this represents neocolonialism 

Tampa bay Buccaneers 

The team glamorizes the age of piracy which was filled with examples of white men imposing themselves upon peaceful minority sailors 

Carolina Panthers

The mascot is black. This is just the poor mans version of the old Redskins logo

Atlanta Falcons

The whole city of Atlanta is in and if itself offensive! The city and everything and everyone in it should be nuked and made uninhabitable.

Indianapolis Colts

Horseshoes – the team’s logo –  were used on the horses used to track down runaway slaves. Thusly this name supports and evokes white supremacy 

Jacksonville Jaguars

Jacksonville is named after the notorious racist Andrew Jackson. The  city itself should be renamed, least of all its mediocre football team

Seattle Seahawks 

Have Seahawks ever received a dime of Royalties from the profits this team makes? The answer is no, so its another form of exploitation just like slavery and Colonalism 

Los Angeles Rams

Rams are the male Sheep. Where are the ewes? 

Houston Texans

The very state of Texas is a racist abomination as it was taken from the peaceful mexicans. By proudly calling themselves texans this team adds salt in the wound 

Chicago Bears

Bears once roamed all over the American continent, after nearly making them extinct, white people are attempting to falsey honor them by naming one of their worst football teams after them. 

See how easy it is to condemn anything once you use the victimhood mentality of the left?

Categories: Humor/Satire