Protect yourself from COVID By Stripping Down To Your Skibbies!

I recently learned that we may have all ignored a major contributing factor to the devastating spread of the coronavirus. There is a vehicle that the virus uses to infect massive amounts of people in the community. The bad news is that we are all guilty of this crime. The good news is that the solution is very simple. 

Studies have shown that the virus could last on cardboard for 24 hours and on plastic for up to 3 days, meaning that it could remain on clothes for at least that long. 

A practicing physician at the world class Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in Manhattan told Fox News that she does take off her clothes as soon as she gets home and puts them in the laundry. Doctor Nicole Saphier explained that she believes that a virus could use clothing as a vector for spread. 

Hospitals such as the Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center have begun to require providers to keep their arms totally bare from the arms down, at least in some units within the hospital. The administration believes that sleeves, watches, and even rings are likely vectors for the spread of COVID. 

I propose that we take even more bold precautions to slow the spread of this vicious disease. 

Because the virus is aggressive, can live outside of the body for a long time, and seems to constantly mutate into more infectious and resilient strains, we must stop giving the virus the ultimate tool for spreading throughout the community: clothing. 

For just 15 short days, everyone should remove their clothes and walk around wearing nothing on their bodies besides their two masks. People could apply to the CDC for an exemption to wear underwear to cover their genitalia, if they could prove that they understand how to sanitize their underwear according to CDC standards, and if they receive the blessing of Lord Fauci.

“We want people to have freedom and choice”, Doctor Zedong of a NYC hospital told The Liberty Block. “if they are comfortable being totally naked, that is ideal, but we understand if some people feel like they must wear panties”. 

In our interviews with health care workers, we were surprised to learn that roughly half of the doctors, nurses, and EMTs we interviewed said that they have been ditching their work clothes before entering their homes for years, for fear of bringing countless pathogens home to their families. 

It is our understanding that Dr. Fauci and the Biden-Harris administration are currently considering whether to mandate the elimination of clothing by executive order, which would apply to all persons in the US over the age of 2, according to White House sources. 

Additionally, a bipartisan coalition in congress including Alexandria Ocasio Cortez is working on this issue legislatively. Sources familiar with the matter told The Liberty Block that the Stripping Hazardous Infectious Transmission Act will likely be introduced in the US House within a few weeks, though it may also be tucked into the next large stimulus or omnibus bill. 

In an exclusive interview with The Liberty Block, the brilliant congresswoman from the Bronx explained that “we would love to give people the choice to wear normal clothing, but the federal government must first take over control of the clothing industry in order to produce clothing that repels all pathogens, or at least COVID, which is the most dangerous pathogen in existence. Once that happens – if Republicans don’t filibuster it in the Senate – we can give the clothing to everyone in the US free of charge. The clothing will likely be very expensive, and poor people and undocumented immigrants should not be left unprotected because they can’t afford the proper clothing. Capitalism is the real underlying issue here. But this will take a while. Let’s start with the 15 days to slow the clothing spread and go from there.”

“And yes, we are still working on the other SHIT“ , doctor Zedong said, referring to the mandatory euthanasia program for COVID patients and reckless anti-mask individuals.