Satire

SlopeGate: Secret Service Only Protects from Snipers on Flat Roofs?

On July 13th, President Trump was shot by an assassin, with a bullet taking a chunk out of his right ear. According to video evidence and eyewitnesses, the Secret Service snipers only learned about the shooter around three minutes before he fired his first shot. Within a few seconds of Trump being hit, the SS snipers fatally shot the assassin. The killing of a man armed with an AR-15 lying on a roof around 130 yards away was an impressive feat, earning praise for the brave agents from all over the world.

By Elliot "Alu" Axelman, ago

US Military Still #1, More Prepared & Powerful Than Ever!

For decades, the US Military has been the undisputed #1 most powerful force on the planet. Its soldiers have a presence in nearly every state and landmass on the globe. There are hundreds of military bases all over and there are likely  many more covert military installations throughout every area of the world, as well. The Heritage Foundation conducted an in-depth analysis of the US Military’s capability and readiness in 2023, which should be very encouraging for true patriots. 

By Elliot "Alu" Axelman, ago

Satanist Anarchist Begins Prison Sentence

On Tuesday, June 27th, Aria DiMezzo checked into the FMC Devens federal prison in Ayer, Massachusetts. Dimezzo faced multiple charges relating to her sales of Bitcoin over the span of a few years. She ultimately pled guilty to operating an unlicensed money transmitting business in September 2022. On April 25th, she was sentenced to 18 months in prison and fined $5,000. DiMezzo worked as a manager at Domino’s Pizza and a regular host of Free Talk Live, a widely syndicated libertarian radio show and podcast.

By Elliot "Alu" Axelman, ago